Category: Spiritual Growth

Going Home with a Story of Grace

xmas dinnerOne of my favorite (preachers is Charles Spurgeon (that’s why we named our dog Spurgeon!). He, Charles, was called “The Prince of Preachers” during his long ministry in London, England. Recently, I read a blog by Tony Reinke about a sermon Spurgeon preached to his congregation on December 21, 1856, when he was just twenty-two.

(You can go to: to find the blog or go to: to read the entire sermon).

Spurgeon, like pastors today, knew many would be spending Christmas with family and friends. What a great opportunity to share the gospel at those festive meals. Spurgeon said, “For my part, I wish there were twenty Christmas days in the year”!

So, Spurgeon wanted to help his congregation take advantage of the season to share their faith in Christ. He took as his text Mark 5:19: “Go back home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how kind he has been to you.” This is the story of the demon-possessed man who lived in a graveyard. Jesus delivered him and sent the demons packing in the pigs which then ran to the edge of the cliff and threw themselves into the sea. The grateful man came to Jesus wanting to follow him, but instead, Jesus told him to “go home” and tell his family and friends what grace and mercy he experienced from Jesus.

Spurgeon’s insights from this story in Mark gave him the opportunity to give wise counsel to help his congregation when they interacted with family and friends. Here are five bits of helpful advice from the “Prince of Preachers.”

  1. Share the story of God’s grace at work in your life and how you have experienced it. “You are not to repair to your houses to preach. You are not to begin to take up doctrinal subjects and expatiate on them, and endeavor to bring persons to your peculiar views and sentiments . . . Go home, young man, and tell the poor sinner’s story; go home, young woman, and open your diary, and give your friends stories of grace. Tell them of the mighty works of God’s hand which he hath wrought in you from his own free, sovereign, undeserved love. Make it a free grace story around your family fire.”
  2. Tell your story to encourage the believers.
  3. Tell your story to unbelievers, but not in a group; tell your story one-on-one. In a group, you might lose the attention of your listeners. However, with a single individual, you are more likely to get a more serious hearing from them as they consider your manner of telling the story.
  4. How should you tell your story? Remember, you’re not in a doctrinal debate, it’s all about grace. So, tell your story humbly (you didn’t deserve grace and you’re no better than your hearers), truthfully (don’t embellish, it’s a good storytelling of God’s good work; nothing can improve that!), seriously (that is, earnestly) and with evident gratitude toward God.
  5. What to expect: it won’t be easy especially with those who have known you a long time. Expect some tension but pray for opportunities. Having prayed for opportunities, look for them and be ready. Overcome fear motivated by your love for Jesus.

Christmas is a great time to have gospel-conversations with our family and friends. Get prayed up, expectant and wait for the opportunity God gives you!




Does Your Faith have a Chip in it?

If you’re like me, you are probably able to relate to the picture of my coffee mug. After I made my coffee one morning, I set down the mug and grabbed a book. I didn’t see the chip until I picked it up for my first, warm and savory sip. When I did see it, it seemed to say to me loud and clear, “your faith has a chip in it!” I thought, how fitting. Of course, it does!FAITH

My faith often lacks the quality that would get Jesus’ positive attention. I fit in with the disciples, “Oh you of little faith.”

Then I read Paul’s statement to the Colossian church:

And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister? (1:21-23)

I like the way Eugene Peterson put it: “You don’t walk away from a gift like that! You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned into the Message, careful and not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message – just this one.”

To “continue in the faith” isn’t an “iffy” thing as if we can walk in and out of the faith that saved us. It’s something that Christians do for other Christians on a regular basis.

There are three ways to continue in the faith so no one walks away from a gift like that.

  • Strength training. Believers need regular doses of faith strengthening and encouragement in the gospel because life is a war zone against the soul. That strength comes from the word and we remind each other of it so we can correct our wrong thinking about God. C. S. Lewis reminds us through his two devils, Screwtape and his nephew Wormwood, it isn’t the things the devil puts into the thoughts of humans that is so effective as it is the things he keeps out that cause trouble. Lots of distractions will keep us from the word that encourages strong faith. And besides, Christians “leak”! (See Acts 14:22).
  • Make the effort. Yes, believers are safe in Christ. Yes, God keeps his promises. But that’s no reason not to show up for work! Christians can’t leave all effort behind. We can and should leave behind the self-saving part. That’s a dead-end street. But we are responsible to join the Spirit’s training program with effort. The “if” that begins the sentence is a real warning to be heard. This isn’t an “iffy” condition as if God or Paul expects the believer to walk away. No. He expects a good outcome. The “if” is a “goad” to kick us into gear. But it is still true that the outcome is good only as we have a hand in preventing our shifting away from such a good gift. If we shift, did we really belong? Stability comes as we put in the effort.
  • Fulfill your calling. Second Timothy 2:15 is long on a controversy that I’m not taking up here. Suffice it to say, the bottom line for Paul in that chapter is that Christians have a calling and are to fulfill it. Like some doctors are trained for brain surgery and others for foot surgery, the rule of thumb in the medical community is to “stay in your modality,” your field of expertise. All Christians are dedicated Christ followers. All Christians are gifted Christ followers. Stay in your calling in Christ and your giftings in the Spirit.

Don’t waver, don’t deviate, continue in the faith. Serve as you can and whom you can. You are a gifted witness and can serve the believer and those not yet believers in ways they might never expect.

Continue in My Word

continue  How many times do you remember being told, “If you keep doing that . . .” something good or something bad will happen? If you keep crossing your eyes like that, they’ll stay that way!” Or maybe you said to your daughter, “If you keep crying, I’ll give you something to cry about!” Or “If you keep saving your money, you’ll be a millionaire someday!”

We like to continue doing things that bring pleasure or relaxation or achievement but we don’t like to keep on doing things that bring pain! Almost sounds like Paul in Romans 7: some things that I’d like to stop, I find hard to stop! I continue doing them even though I don’t like doing them. Or rather, we should say we don’t like the outcomes.

The Christian life is no different from any other in this regard: it is meant to be lived continually. The difference is that living christianly is a matter of living convertedly. It’s living the new life of a disciple every moment of every day and growing in that ability. There are things we’re to continue doing and things we’re not to continue doing.

In my recent devotional reading, I discovered at least ten things we are to continue doing and a couple we are warned against continuing.

The first one I discovered was tcontinue in my wordo continue in the word. Jesus said, “If you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of mine” (John 8:31). In other words, if we live out the things Jesus said to do, we will verify ourselves as Jesus-followers. A synonym for continue is “abide” or “remain.” Important words for John.

The practice of continuing in Christ’s word transforms our lives so that we look like Jesus in our own skin and personality (Rom 12:1-2). The fuel for continuing is God’s saving action in our lives. Jesus made it clear that being “of God” enables the disciple to “hear the words of God” (v. 47). Hearing is just another way of saying “doing.”

Continuing in the word of Jesus means an intentional life-long commitment to the study, meditation, reading and memorization of the word. This is the means to capturing the power of the unfolding universe of truth in Jesus that saves, restores, and transforms the soul increasingly reflecting the character of Christ in brighter and clearer ways.

So, what does that look like? At least these five things:

  1. It’s the mark of true, genuine and earnest Jesus-follower.
  2. It’s the discovery of the truth that sets us free from slavery to sins.
  3. It’s the realization that we are the spiritual descendants of Abraham.
  4. It’s the joy of being the children of the Father and no longer the children of wrath (i.e., the devil).
  5. It’s the privilege of hearing God’s word because we are his children.

Don’t let a day pass without the in-take of God’s word. And ask God to keep you from the vanity of “egg-head” knowledge. Enjoy learning new things from God, but ask him to prevent you from becoming “puffed up” in your accumulation of knowledge. It’s not about you! Ask the Spirit to use the word to do some heart-renovation so that your life radiates with the light and life of Christ and you become a valuable asset to others in your spheres of life.

Understanding “Understanding”

jigsaw-piece-understanding-signMaybe it’s me, but it seems that our society is growing in its arrogance – if that’s possible.

I’m no photographer, but I enjoy nature and people photography. At the top of Trail Ridge Road in the Rocky Mountain National Park, I found myself standing next to a woman with a monster lens, the kind that NatGeo photogs use. I felt unworthy standing next to her with my 70 – 300 zoom lens. I said, “Now that’s a lens!” She rolled her eyes. Not worthy.

Later that afternoon, I read Ps 49. The short story of the Psalm is this: regardless of life’s circumstances – rich or poor, white or black, blue or white collar, the most important thing about a man or woman is that they have “understanding.”

I wondered: what is the “understanding” God has in mind that distinguishes a person. If a poor man with understanding is better off than a rich man without it, what does that mean?

A quick search limited to just the Psalms revealed ten benefits to the one who has understanding God’s way. The one who values understanding . . .

  1. Discerns his errors (Ps 19:12). How crucial is that? How many people do you know who are completely ignorant of their condition before God? How many of them think that God loves and accepts them just because they are? They haven’t got a clue about why God would be angry with them at all. By the way, how often do you discern your own errors?
  2. Values the works of God, including his rewards (Ps 28:5).
  3. Receives God’s instructions and counsel about how to live life to the fullest and most enjoyable (Ps 32:8-9). This one is important!
  4. Submits to God as the clay to the Potter (Ps 33:15). So it this one!
  5. Fears the Lord and hopes in his lovingkindness (Pss 33:18; 107:43). Ditto!
  6. Knows God’s eye is on him or her for good and refuses to be stubborn (Pss 33:17; 94:7). Help, anyone?
  7. Knows righteousness will triumph over evil and so patiently, prayerfully waits on God (Pss 37:10; 73:17; 96:6-8). Comforting!
  8. Walks in the light of Christ and hates the works of darkness (Ps 82:5).
  9. Is teachable, obedient (and prays for help) and meditates on God’s word (Ps 119:27, 34, 73, 95, 100, 104, 125, 130, 144, 169).
  10. Is known by God (139:2). Easily the best of the ten.

That day at nearly 12,000 feet above sea level, I learned that understanding is better than a NatGeo camera lens any day.

How to Pray for Those who Hurt You

Someone maliciouslenemy1y and publicly ruins your reputation. You are deeply hurt and pay a heavy price for something that isn’t true. Everything in you wants to pray like David:

May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow! May his children wander about and beg, seeking food far from the ruins they inhabit! May the creditor seize all that he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his toil!  Let there be none to extend kindness to him, nor any to pity his fatherless children! May his posterity be cut off; may his name be blotted out in the second generation! May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD, and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out! Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth! (Ps 109:9-15)

Ouch! It hurts just to think of it. Your conscience cries out “No! Don’t go there! Trust the Lord. Don’t be a fool!”

Many have weighed in on the subject of a Christian’s relationship to the prayers of David that call down fire and hail stones on the heads of those who wound us. Sometimes they are unbelievers and we might be willing to let them off the hook. But sometimes they are sitting next to us in church    Can we use David’s “imprecatory prayers” when we are deeply wounded by betrayal, lies or bullying of others? The answer is “yes” and “no.” The “no” part goes like this: remember that the substance of an imprecatory prayer contains wording that calls down curses on our enemies. You may feel like that will bring about the justice you deserve but it won’t. To this Jesus says us to love those who persecute us and to pray for them and even do good to them (Matt 5:44).

Can we use David’s “imprecatory prayers” when we are deeply wounded by betrayal, lies or bullying of others? The answer is “yes” and “no.” The “no” part goes like this: remember that the substance of an imprecatory prayer contains wording that calls down curses on our enemies. You may feel like that will bring about the justice you deserve but it won’t. To this Jesus says us to love those who persecute us and to pray for them and even do good to them (Matt 5:44).

The “yes” part is this: there is a legitimate way to pray about what’s happened to you. Here are seven things I’ve noticed about David’s approach to God in prayer about his enemies:

  1. It’s perfectly legitimate to pray for vindication from God.
  2. It’s perfectly legitimate to pray that my enemies are frustrated in their plans.
  3. It’s perfectly legitimate to plead my innocence with God (if I am!) and make the case for vindication.
  4. It’s perfectly legitimate to tell the Lord what I know and think about the characters and spiritual condition of my adversaries. (believe it – he already knows!)
  5. It’s perfectly legitimate to pray that my opponents become ashamed of their work. An awakened conscience might lead them to repentance.
  6. It’s perfectly legitimate to promise to rejoice in the ways God answers.
  7. It’s perfectly legitimate to tell others afterward of the marvelous thing God has done for you so they can join the chorus of praise. (Do this without trash talking your enemy in the process).

In contrast, here are five illegitimate things:

  1. It is illegitimate to go first to others and tell them about your enemy’s hurtful actions or words. First, to God and leave it with him.
  2. It is illegitimate to be disappointed in the way God answers.
  3. It is illegitimate to renege on the promise to praise God.
  4. It is illegitimate to get impatient with God; so, admit it and ask for help!
  5. It is illegitimate to gloat when the answer comes; be ready to pray for them the way God directed Job to pray for his “counselors.”

For your own further reflection check out Pss 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 59, 69, 70, 79, 83, 109, 129, 137, 140. Then pray for them the ways you would want others to pray for you.




Esther and MordecaiWe all like heroes because they make us believe there is still some good in the world. We like heroes because they show courage in the face of crisis and exude confidence, even if they will admit later they were scared to death or they were just doing their jobs.

The Bible has heroes too; heroes of the faith. But they are also people like us, made of the same stuff. What sets them apart isn’t so much their courage as their faith. When a crisis comes, the residuals of the world and flesh are revealed and faith is proven for what it is. A crisis can call out the faith in us or deplete us.

Two such heroes are Mordecai and Esther. Faced with a genocide of the entire Jewish population in captivity, the two endured the crisis and revealed the nature of true faith. Mordecai said, “Esther if you don’t do something about this crisis, deliverance will come from another place. But how do you know that you haven’t come to the kingdom for such a time as this.” Esther said, “I’ll do. You pray and fast, I’ll pray and fast and if I perish, I perish.” Sounds heroic, right?

Here are 10 things in now particular order about the crisis they faced that brought out of their faith:

  1. True faith is both optimistic and willing to “lose.” They believed God and left the outcome in his hands.
  2. True faith sees opportunities and expresses encouragement.
  3. True faith is sensitive to God’s timing and willing to wait.
  4. True faith takes risks for big things.
  5. True faith is born of confidence in God.
  6. True faith acts; it makes wise plans and executes them patiently.
  7. True faith looks to God first in every circumstance; crisis or not.
  8. True faith recognizes personal inadequacy and calls for the Spirit’s help; a sort of spiritual 911.
  9. True faith is not afraid to alert others to the dangers ahead.
  10. True faith rallies a network of help.

Father, we may not be facing a crisis yet but we have a situation for which we can’t plan well. Give us faith to face the changes we see on the horizon. Reveal your plans so we can walk in true faith. Father us into your will as you’ve done before.

The Man After God’s Own Heart?

Can we agree that David was an imperfect man? Although God chose him to be the great ancestor of Jesus, he too was, in the words of John Newton, a great sinner in need of a great Savior. Though he committed adultery with Bathsheba, conspired to have her husband killed, took a census he should not have, wasn’t a model father, mourned more bitterly over the death of Absalom than was appropriate for a leader and gave his son Solomon a “hit list” to execute at his death, he claimed that he “walked in his integrity.” This means that David understood himself to be “complete,” “full,” “perfect,” “upright,” and “innocent.” Even God, who saw it all, agreed with David’s self-understanding. We know this because God favored David with the title: “a man after my own heart.”

It eluded me for years how David could make this claim. David wasn’t one to boast in his own accomplishments; he boasted in the goodness of God. And I understood that he walked in the promised righteousness of the (for him) coming Messiah, yet I winced whenever I read a psalm that said, “You have upheld me because of my integrity.” Did David really think he earned God’s favor because he attained a level of spiritual and moral perfection that obliged God? “May it never be!” Hard to imagine.

The statements David and God made could not be contradictory, much less wrong. So, during my scheduled reading through the Bible, I decided to pay careful attention to the things David did and said and what God said about it. I marked every place where I thought David’s heart was revealed with “D’s H.” It wasn’t until my reading took me to 1 Kings that I discovered the nugget of truth I’d been looking for.

The way to explain this will involve an observation about the story or the statements said (by David, God or others).

That’s what this series of blogs will be about. But the big goal is to see our hearts changed to be like David’s. Stay with me won’t you?

God’s Pleasure and Our Losses

Who wrote these words?

“God takes pleasure in Himself and rejoices in His own perfection.”

If John Piper sprang to mind you are obviously steeped in his theology. Good! Perhaps you went further back and thought of Jonathan Edwards. Terrific! Both pastors have written these words or words like them. But, the answer I’m looking for is A. W. Tozer.

My wife and I are reading through a book of a collection of Tozer’s writings called The Attributes of God (Camp Hill, PA: Wing Spread Publishers, 2007). The sentence above is from a chapter entitled “God’s Infinitude.”

Tozer goes on to explain how God delights in his creation and his Son. Jesus delights in the Father and the Spirit delights in the Father and the Son. Then quoting from a “dear old hymn writer,” Tozer tells us of Jesus’ delight in his incarnation: he did not “abhor the virgin’s womb.” “The second person of the Trinity, the everlasting Son,” Tozer wrote “the eternal Word made Himself flesh – joyously!”

This little section of Tozer’s book sparked a timely discussion for my wife and me. Does God delight in our losses? If so, isn’t that cruel and mean-spirited?

Here’s the background. Our youngest daughter is soon moving out of state – way out of state; sixteen hundred miles and seven states away. Our oldest daughter and her husband and their children (our grandchildren, I might add) live nearly twelve hundred miles and four states away. For the first time in thirty plus years, our family will be living in three different states.

Granted, that’s not unusual by today’s American standards. It’s just that it is unusual for us; and uncomfortable. For nearly thirty plus years, our family has lived in close proximity to each other. No more than thirty minutes away at the farthest.

My wife isn’t delighted about this.

I am not delighted either.

But what about God?  Tozer, Piper, Edwards and the Bible agree: God delights in all that he does. In fact, my wife pointed out to me that “All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies” (Ps 25:10).

Because we are committed to the sovereignty of God at work in our lives, our daughter’s move falls under the category of his “steadfast love and faithfulness.” Fair enough. But how does “his delight” square with our dis-delight?

As we talked, we reminded each other that God cannot do anything wrong; he does all things well (Mark 7:37). The problem isn’t with God’s doing things, but our perspective of them. Is it possible to see something we dislike as something that will bring pleasure to God?

My wife reminded me further that plenty of biblical parents had to relinquish their children: Jacob had to let Joseph “go,” assuming he’d been killed (Genesis 37). Hannah had to let Samuel go for the service of the Lord (1 Samuel 1). Eventually, Moses’ mother had to let him go too (Exodus 2). Need it be mentioned that God “gave up” his Son for our salvation?

Does that mean he doesn’t care about how we feel about the loss of a daughter to the East Coast? No, not at all. Piper says it: God taking pleasure in himself is the way he blesses us and does good to and for us. God has never been unhappy or lonely.

“He has always rejoiced with overflowing satisfaction . . . God is not constrained by any inner deficiency or unhappiness to do anything he does not want to do . . . This is what distinguishes us from God. We have an immense void inside that craves satisfaction from powers and persons (our family) and pleasures (proximity) outside ourselves. Yearning and longing and desire are the very stuff of our nature. We are born deficient and needy and dissatisfied.”[1]

Part of the answer for God’s delight in himself and all that he does is so that there is an overflow from the reservoir of his goodness into our souls as we delight in God. “God is not like an insecure bully, who likes to show off his strength by putting weaker people down. God loves to show off his greatness by being an inexhaustible source of strength to build weak people up. His exuberance in delighting in the welfare of his servant is the measure of the immensity of his resources (Phil 4:19).”[2]

Our losses and the suffering and the dis-delight they bring become for us an opportunity to receive from the Spirit everything his Names imply: Intercessor (he will plead for us), helper (he will get in there and shoulder the work on our behalf), Counselor (he will help us see what we need to see by faith), and Comforter (Someone to lean on in times of sorrow). The loss opens an opportunity for us to delight in Christ’s all-sufficient riches. Our dependence on his riches delights God and shows that we really do believe he is greatest treasure we have. Piper writes, “If we hold fast to him ‘when all around our soul gives way,’ then we show that he is more to be desired than all we have lost.”[3] Paul said, “Gladly then will I boast in my weakness that the power of Christ may dwell in me . . . for when I am weak (lacking something, dis-delighting in something), then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:9-10).

So, although our daughter will move, we will miss her and feel the sadness of the loss of her company. We will call her and write to her and definitely create excuses to visit her. This new circumstance will become for us a way to live in and magnify Christ’s grace in delighting to move her away for a time and depend on him for our delights.

Learning to delight in the things God delights in!

[1]John Piper, The Pleasures of God (Portland, OR: Multnomah, 1991), 48.

[2]Piper, Pleasures, 193.

[3]John Piper, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist (Sisters, OR: Multnomah,1986), 222.

Wisdom from ‘The Prof,’ Dr. Howard Hendricks

Every pastor who has endured the rigors of seminary training will graduate having had wonderful professors under whose hand and guidance they learned about God; not just about how to study the Bible. Four of them left an indelible mark on my spiritual growth and I count them among my friends today. Not only do I think of them fondly, but I carry with me their examples of diligence in the word and the habits of study that they passed along to me. In one sense, the congregation I serve is being served by these men and many others. So, when a former student learns that the man who had so much to do with his theological and spiritual development has gone home to be with the Lord, it is good to reflect on the good deposit they have left in others.Hendricks

One of my friends was a student of Dr. Howard Hendricks’ of Dallas Theological Seminary. Many pastors have benefited from Dr. Hendricks books on how to study the Bible, Christian education and so much more. Below is what my friend, who studied under Dr. Hendricks, had to say about the man known as “the Prof.”

“One of my beloved seminary professors, Dr. Howard Hendricks, went to glory last week at age 89. He taught Bible Study Methods and many other Christian Education courses for over 60 years at Dallas Seminary, to the staff of Campus Crusade, and all over the world. I never met even one of his students who was not marked for life by him. Below are a few quotes “Prof” was known for. I pass them on to you. Heb. 13:7 says: “Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.” Here is a man worthy of this statement!

· Heaven is a person: Jesus.

· Never traffic in unpracticed truth.

· You are able to do many things. But be sure you find the one thing you must do.

· There’s no one without significant creative potential.

· You never graduate from the school of discipleship.

· If you’re just like someone else, we don’t need you.

· How big is your God? The size of your God determines the size of everything.

· There’s no such thing as faith apart from risk-taking. Creativity takes risk. The people who are most secure in Jesus Christ shouldn’t be scared to try new things.

· You cannot impart what you do not possess.

· The teacher has not taught until the student has learned.

· Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential.

· The Bible was not given to make us smarter sinners, but to change our lives.

· The greatest curse that pervaded the university is apathy.

· The measure of you as a leader is not what you do, but what others do because of what you do.

· In the spiritual realm, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge, it’s obedience.

· A belief is something you will argue about. A conviction is something you will die for.

· It is a sin to bore a child with the Word of God.

· You can impress people at a distance, but you can impact them only up close.

· Biblically speaking, to hear and not to do is not to hear at all.

· In the midst of a generation screaming for answers, Christians are stuttering.

· You can control your choices but you can’t control the outcome of those choices.

· If you want to continue leading, you must continue changing.

· Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is.

· If we stop learning today, we stop teaching tomorrow.

· Leaders are readers, and readers are leaders.


Why we don’t need more love to forgive

GurnallForgiveness is probably that hardest thing we do with one another. It is not easy to forgive. The reason is simple enough: the wrong done against us is too great when compared with our greatness. Not only did I not deserve your angry words, bitter comments, slight, etc., but you should have known the importance of my person refuses any offense due to my lofty position in the universe. Besides, coddling our grudges nestled close to our hearts can be such a comforting self-justifying companion.

No Christian that I know would voice such a self-exalting idea about him or herself. But the heart speaks it quietly in the silence of the night.

Asking for forgiveness is probably the second hardest thing we do with one another. You can tell this is true by the way in which public figures (or we) ask: “If (with all the weight of the subjunctive mood bearing down on this remotest of possibilities!) I have done anything to offend anybody out there, I’m sorry.” Subject over; never to be spoken of again. The bruised ego now wants nothing more than “to move on.”

Of course, the implication is that “I couldn’t have done anything to offend anybody; but if you think I did, then I’m sorry for you that you felt that way because in reality I was just being me and you know, I have to be me; and just because you don’t like me being me is no reason for me to have to apologize. I will never apologize for being me.” Seriously! Besides asking this way keeps me shielded from having to talk to you face-to-face. I can hide behind the duplicitous mask of “an apology.”

When Christians engage in the practice of forgiving (Matt 18:15f) we take too many cues from the culture or psychology. We should take our cues from Jesus. The culture tells us to apologize or even to pair forgetting with our forgiving. Psychology teaches us that apologizing and forgiveness is good because it rebounds on us with benefits.

Neither of these are at the heart of Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness. Forgiveness makes us like the Father who has forgiven us in Christ (Eph 4:32). While there may be a residual blessing in forgiveness (and there is), Jesus’ first concern was that forgiveness reflected the believer’s union and identification with him. He gets the credit for our obedience in forgiving.

William Gurnall (1617-1679), Puritan pastor and author of the massive work, The Christian in Complete Armour, points out why Christians forgive and what Christians need most in forgiving. Forgiving one another is another circumstance in the progress of our sanctification. Justification (being made right with God) is a grace and instrument for our sanctification (being made holy as God is holy). Faith unites us to Christ the way a pipe carries fresh water from a fountain.  Jesus said that this union with him would be like a river of living waters flowing from us (John 7:38). This river will flow with thirst quenching grace to others. This river includes forgiving those who have wronged us, whether they know they have or not.

Christians may think that what we need to forgive is more love and realize they have to pray for that grace, too. Praying for more love is a good thing. I pray for it every day! More love for God, for Christ, for my wife, my children and grandchildren, my church. But that’s not what we need first when it comes time to forgive. What we need is more faith.

Sounds contradictory, but Gurnall makes his case from Scripture. When Jesus told the disciples they had to forgive seventy times seven  – in one day – Peter blurted out the truth. He did not said, “Lord, increase our love!” Or “Lord, give us more tolerance!” No. He said, “Lord, increase our faith!” (Luke 17:1-5). (Actually, Luke doesn’t tell us it was Peter. He says only, “the apostles.” I just imagine it was Peter because that statement at that time was so typical of him: to say what everyone else was thinking. Do you think I may have to ask him to forgive me when I see him in heaven?)

The reason Jesus said we needed faith (he did affirm the apostles’ response in v. 6) is because forgiveness is difficult and this is a very hard lesson to learn. So, the question is “why faith?” Gurnall answers helpfully.

If they could get more faith on Christ, they might be sure they should have more love to their brother also. The more strongly they could believe on Christ for the pardon of their own sins, not ‘seven’ but ‘seventy times’ in a day committed against God, the more easy it would be to forgive their brother offending themselves seven times a day . . . [It is] as if he said, “You have hit on the right way to get a forgiving spirit; it is faith indeed that would enable you to conquer the mercifulness of your hearts. Though it were as deeply rooted in you as this sycamore-tree is in the ground, yet by faith you should be able to pluck it up.” When we would have the whole tree fruitful, we think we do enough to water the root, knowing what the root sucks from the earth it will soon disperse into the branches. Thus that sap and fatness, faith, which is the radical grace, draws from Christ, will be quickly diffused through the branches of the others graces and tasted in the pleasantness of their fruit. (The Christian in Complete Armour, 2:16, 17)

Praying for an increase of faith with you,